Dining Humor Fans Pillows

'My name is Angel. No relation to the angel hair pasta.'

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

'I just come here for the ambiance. The food's lousy, so ordered a pizza be delivered.'

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

'This isn't soup of the day. Today's Tuesday.'

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

'Waiter, is it raining?' ] 'Sorry, not my table.'

"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"

Hugo's in a peevish mood today, I'd finish that broccoli if I were you

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

"I'm getting something to speed things up, Jenkins. A skateboard."

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

The Second-to-last Supper.

'What's the special?'

"Waiter, there are needles in my stew."

'The house wine sir.'

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"

'Yon lad's got a chip on his shoulder.' 'Aye, he's certainly a messy eater.'