Dinner Dash Expert Gifts

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

Come dine with me!

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'Who gets the decaf?'

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

Choice hellhole

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

"The usual."

"You're looking gorgeous tonight darling..."

I don

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

"Oh, put a cork in it...the bottle, you, the wine steward."

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

"Yes, a table for three: me, him and his ego."

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

'This melts in the mouth.' 'It's ice cubes.'

"A number of items on that menu are consistently chosen by an overwhelming majority of the American people."

Diner. We're out of link sausages. Are patties okay? Any pork in a storm!

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

'I'll take the S. O. S. breakfast special...hold the shingle.'

Cook spills food and has to open a can (tin).

'Excuse me - there's a fly in my soup!'