Dine And Dash Artists Gifts

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

The Perfect Foil

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

'A tiny kitchen, one cook, and great food...I don't know how they do it.'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'The tax and tip I understand, but what's this charge for shipping and handling?'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

'After you with the camouflage.'

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

Alarming symptoms after eating boiled beef and gooseberry pie

'A telemarketing call for you, Sir.'

"What will change my life?"

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

"Waiter - this dish doesn't contain enough adjectives..!"

'How is the Peking Duck prepared?' 'I'll break it to her gently.'

"I need a doggy bag please, I have a room mate to feed."

"I don't see one damn thing we haven't eaten before."

"Here are Monsieur Limace, our sommelier, Monsiere Juron, chef de Cuisine and Mr Kruigshenk, specialist for the beheading of breakfast eggs."

'It was late, very late, but the peas had touched the mash potatoes, and only dawn could lift the curse.'

'Here comes the bill.'

Sound horn for service.