Dining Wit Gifts

"Will you be ordering A La Carte, or heading straight over to the trough?"

"How can you be out of wings?"

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

'I'll have the steak.' (Fish in tank start jumping for joy).

'Tasty.'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

"Good news - You can get wine in pints now! Bad news - It's British wine."

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

'Waiter, is it raining?' ] 'Sorry, not my table.'

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

"I'm getting something to speed things up, Jenkins. A skateboard."

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

"They're flipping to see who pays for the meal."

"I'll have the fish chowder, hold the flotsam and jetsam."

'Mutter mutter...I was talking to my broccoli.'

'What's the special?'

'I say Madam, I prefer my soup bald!' (Victor Hugo, Notre-Dame de Paris)

"Expect a generous gratuity on table 9...I hacked his tip calculator."

'May I caution that the term 'Happy meal' refers to the meal itself rather than to any effect it may have.'

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"

"You call this guacamole?"

"Excuse me, my bowl and glass seem to be stuck to the table."

"You're a very interesting waiter, but don't you have any other tables to take care of?"

"Would you like finicky or non-finicky?"

"What wine would you recommend to go with male chauvinist pork?"

'No, the fish isn't battered - the cook just roughs it up a bit!'

"Is the rabbit cute?"

'You call this slop'