Dining Dilemma Explorer Gifts

"Miss, could I have some, ah, just bread?"

'Beefsteak tomatoes and mincemeat pie.'

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Platter confusion.

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

Table for two. Whom does sir think he's kidding? You're right table for one. Menu.

'The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

Woman finds something in her soup.

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

"Guys, guys! He's pointing at me! This is great, I've never been picked first before!"

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

Hollywood cafe: celebrity in the house!

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

It was time to start the lockdown diet.

'What do you sugget for a couple of fuddyduddies who love hot and spicy, but have to eat bland?'

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans.' 'Now you don't.'

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

The wine and water lists.

'Is anything O.K.?'

'It's not nouvelle cuisine, Monsieur. You've ordered from the children's menu.'

'What's this about the food tasting funny?'

Fast food trap.

'Water? Still? Sparkling? Mountain? Hill? Bottle? Tap? Warm? Cold? Ice? Lemon?'

"Yes, I can certainly recommend the lamb - everything else has gone."

"He said his name was Joseph when he told us he'd be our waiter this evening."

"Well, finally!!"

At the NRA lounge.

Diners see restaurant signs; Grade A meals and Meals Without Comments.

'Please remember, it's the ambience you're paying for here.'