Dining Dilemma Enthusiast Gifts

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

'What's this about the food tasting funny?'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

'What do you sugget for a couple of fuddyduddies who love hot and spicy, but have to eat bland?'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

It was time to start the lockdown diet.

'Water? Still? Sparkling? Mountain? Hill? Bottle? Tap? Warm? Cold? Ice? Lemon?'

Fast food trap.

"Does skipping breakfast count as both exercise and dieting?"

"Yes, I can certainly recommend the lamb - everything else has gone."

"Say when!"

"He said his name was Joseph when he told us he'd be our waiter this evening."

"And would you like a divorce with that?"

"Give me the menus—you've kept the chef in suspense long enough."

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

'Take no notice, I fired him ten minutes ago.'

'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'

"Miss, could I have some, ah, just bread?"

"Do you have such a thing as low calorie caramel coffee creams?"

"It's OK, I'm on a meat day."

'Beefsteak tomatoes and mincemeat pie.'

"So, order in or go out?"

I want you to eat less fibre.

'Finally have an expense account and I'm always on a diet.'

'Smoking or nonsmoking? Hormone therapy or nonhormone therapy section?'

'Meat or anti-meat section?'

"Every time you want to eat a waiter, you can't find one."

"It means that when you order the cheesecake, the guilt comes free."

Grogansburg, 1 Mile. Diet Grogansburg, 3 Miles