Dinner Dilemma Lovers Gifts

'And I suppose you're going to blame this on the inverted yield curve, too!'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

Man eating his meal with his feet.

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

'Your meal should be along shortly. Frank just went out to hunt it.'

"Out bending spoons at Pop's diner."

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

'What do you sugget for a couple of fuddyduddies who love hot and spicy, but have to eat bland?'

'What's this about the food tasting funny?'

'Water? Still? Sparkling? Mountain? Hill? Bottle? Tap? Warm? Cold? Ice? Lemon?'

"Yes, I can certainly recommend the lamb - everything else has gone."

"I'll have what she's having when she decides what she's having."

Man placing order in a restaurant: "You know what? I can't decide. Surprise me." "Very good sir." Waiter pops up naked and shouting "Kashunga!"

'Are you sure you are not allergic to seafood.'

"He said his name was Joseph when he told us he'd be our waiter this evening."

"Say when!"

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

'Here's your 'Chef's Surprise,' sir -- I'm legally required to tell you that you have one last chance to change your mind.'

"Miss, could I have some, ah, just bread?"

'Take no notice, I fired him ten minutes ago.'

'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'

"I vary her diet with a wide variety of pasta shapes."

'Beefsteak tomatoes and mincemeat pie.'

"So, order in or go out?"

'Smoking or nonsmoking? Hormone therapy or nonhormone therapy section?'

"Every time you want to eat a waiter, you can't find one."