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"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

Platter confusion.

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

"A table in Siberia, please."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

'Your bill sir.'

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"Guys, guys! He's pointing at me! This is great, I've never been picked first before!"

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersize in a bucket?"

Hollywood cafe: celebrity in the house!

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

'Skip the menu Ramon,i'll just have what he's having,thanks.' / 'Very well sir.'

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans.' 'Now you don't.'

"Can you suggest a nice Bordeaux that will complement the squirrel-infused manure?"

'Your businessman's lunch, sir — Raw meat and whiskey.'

"Y a qué de la salade?"

"Welp, where else do you wanna eat?"

The wine and water lists.

'Is anything O.K.?'

'It's not nouvelle cuisine, Monsieur. You've ordered from the children's menu.'

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

"The last guy I went out with asked me to split the bill."

'Please remember, it's the ambience you're paying for here.'