Dine-alone Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'Oh, i'm actually dining alone. I just prefer this seat.

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Life is for the birds.

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'A cheeky red?'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

Am Awful Crammer.

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"You and your daft inventions."

"We make substitutions within reason, Madame. We can give you courgettes instead of the aubergine, but we cannot provide Jean-Louis Trintignant in place of your husband."

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

'I don't have enough money for a tip, but feel free to eat the leftovers!'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

'You don't have to drive around. We bring the food to your table.'