Solo Dining Aficionados T-Shirts

'You may hang up if you want. I just don't want to eat alone in public without a cell phone in my hand.'

Life is for the birds.

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

'A cheeky red?'

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

Wine taster with mineral water

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

"I realize your steak was tough but you didn't have to make such a stink about it."

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

"And what would you like to regret later?"

"Our Fettuccine is eaten with spoon and fork. Angle Hair gets a comb and scissors."

'How's the curry?'

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

'Like it? It's my digital vest, it calculates calories, portions and price per pound!'

"Yes I know I ordered fresh crab but..."

"Everywhere you look, there's a rate hike."

"Careful. Plates are hot, cold and just right."

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

" and my husband will have..."

'I'll take the rest of this in a doggy bag.'

Little Miss Muffet Does Lunch

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

'OK, who ordered the prawn cocktail?'

"What goes with fish and bad conversation?"

"Moo goo gai pan looks good."

'Don't be upset, the wine is off anyway.'

'Who ordered the mushy peas?

"We're looking for that wine that got away."

'Gypsy music may not be your forte, Nigel, but there was no need to keep heckling him!'