Solo Dining Aficionados T-Shirts

'You may hang up if you want. I just don't want to eat alone in public without a cell phone in my hand.'

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

Life is for the birds.

'A cheeky red?'

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

Wine taster with mineral water

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

"I realize your steak was tough but you didn't have to make such a stink about it."

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

"And what would you like to regret later?"

'Like it? It's my digital vest, it calculates calories, portions and price per pound!'

"Our Fettuccine is eaten with spoon and fork. Angle Hair gets a comb and scissors."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"Yes I know I ordered fresh crab but..."

'How's the curry?'

"Everywhere you look, there's a rate hike."

"Careful. Plates are hot, cold and just right."

" and my husband will have..."

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

Little Miss Muffet Does Lunch

'OK, who ordered the prawn cocktail?'

'I'll take the rest of this in a doggy bag.'

"What goes with fish and bad conversation?"

"Moo goo gai pan looks good."

'Don't be upset, the wine is off anyway.'

'Who ordered the mushy peas?

"We're looking for that wine that got away."

'Gypsy music may not be your forte, Nigel, but there was no need to keep heckling him!'