Solo Cuisine Connoisseur T-Shirts

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I come here for the pepper."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Full English Breakfast.

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

'According to this, she began making wine in her laundry room 30 years ago, and now she's moved on to the garage.'

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"Quick swig first?"

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

'Our businessman's special includes fortune cookies filled with stock tips'

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"Both the wine and I need to breathe, Albert."

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

Slow food restaurant

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'