Diners With A Flair For Fancy T-Shirts

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Dog Dressed to Eat

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

Wine taster with mineral water

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

Sushi Train Spotters

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

"Great God Almighty! Somebody please wake me up and tell me I'm only dreaming that the chicken marsala costs a whopping twenty-eight ninety-five!"

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

'Tasty.'

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

"I'll have the chef."

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

"Out bending spoons at Pop's diner."

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'

'I'll have the duck ? l'orange, without the duck, of course.'

'For obvious reasons the chowder's made with chicken and pork.'

"Will the gentleman want the saumon poché with or without his initials?"

'Genuine Venutian Bistro.'

"A bottle of your finest formula for the table."