Diners With A Flair For Fancy Gifts

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

Wine taster with mineral water

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

Sushi Train Spotters

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

'Tasty.'

"Great God Almighty! Somebody please wake me up and tell me I'm only dreaming that the chicken marsala costs a whopping twenty-eight ninety-five!"

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

What's a Texas Tommy? A hot dog stuffed with cheese and wrapped in bacon. Little Pete's Sounds great. Does it come with anything? A coronary.

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

"I'll have the chef."

'For obvious reasons the chowder's made with chicken and pork.'

Mom's Diner: "Just like mom used to make."

'Genuine Venutian Bistro.'

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'

'I'll have the duck ? l'orange, without the duck, of course.'

"Out bending spoons at Pop's diner."

"Will the gentleman want the saumon poché with or without his initials?"

"A bottle of your finest formula for the table."