Dapper Diners Gifts

Ties and Jackets Required.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'Can I have flies with that'

'I'll take it!'

Savory Types

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

Sushi Train Spotters

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

Choosing What To Wear.

'Know something? Love IS wonderful!'

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

"I want it to look good, but not ill-gotten-gains good."

Chicken Coupe.

'Tasty.'

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Big Boy Foot

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

Man finds a python in his breakfast egg

'The last suit was a bit stiff.'

'And, may I add, this hat does not scream, 'Bald Guy'.'

"Just iced tea, please. Hot coffee goes right through me."

"First of all, this is a very casual workplace."

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."