Fancy Dining Enthusiast Gifts

"Will the gentleman want the saumon poché with or without his initials?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Dog Dressed to Eat

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

"Expense account or regular?"

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"How's the salmon?"

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"Room for dessert, folks?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

this bordeaux speaks for itself