Crafty Diners Gifts

"Are you still working on that?"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"For drinks or dinner?"

Sushi Train Spotters

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

'Tasty.'

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

"I'll have the chef."

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

"They're flipping to see who pays for the meal."

" 'Tonight's Specials,' a poem."

'Genuine Venutian Bistro.'

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'

'For obvious reasons the chowder's made with chicken and pork.'

'Enjoy?...How?'

'I'll have the duck ? l'orange, without the duck, of course.'

Frank 'n' Steins...beer & bratwurst (chef Frankenstein).

Ties and Jackets Required.

'Aside from the cockroach, how was everything?'

Since when do lentils do the backstroke? ??

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that much of a surprise.'

'...and tell the butcher I want the biggest, fattest Christmas goose...' '...the Health Dept. shut him down.'

"Is that your 'God Bless America' or mine?"

I told you not to order the house dressing. Hurg.