Digitally Jaded Soul Gifts

"Remember, you'll never find true enlightenment through search engines."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"My email is down... talk to me."

Online form - Submit.

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

Life after death

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

Evolution...the wifi rhino.

How many times do I have to tell you. . . you're broke! Broke! Broke!

"Can you spare a few megabytes of your precious time?"

'Another big newspaper just went out of business.', 'How did you hear about that?', 'I read it on the internet.'

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

"Hey Google, describe the view."

Books On Paper

''Open Sesame' would make a great password, wouldn't it?'

Error: Out of memory.

Progress

'A spelling test? -- Surely they have software for that sort of thing!'

"The lost password department's that way."

Ascent of Digital Man

Sell me your souls and I'll make all cell phones and computers go away."

'I don't have my homework because my dial-up modem couldn't connect with my on-line homework helper.'

"At least now when mom and dad fight it's quieter."

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

"Far out Nigel, I know you're a purist, but at some point, you'll need to switch to e-books like the rest of us..."

"[Treehouse conference call]"

The revised 12 days of Christmas

'These blinders help block out banner ads.'

"Polishing my mouse just doesn't have the same calming effect as sharpening my pencil."

'You have to learn arithmetic in case your computer crashes.'

"Buffering... buffering... buffering..."

"Kids, could you do Mommy a huge favor and go really far away from me? Thanks."