Digitally Jaded Soul T-Shirts

"Remember, you'll never find true enlightenment through search engines."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"My email is down... talk to me."

Online form - Submit.

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

Life after death

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

Evolution...the wifi rhino.

How many times do I have to tell you. . . you're broke! Broke! Broke!

"Can you spare a few megabytes of your precious time?"

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

'Another big newspaper just went out of business.', 'How did you hear about that?', 'I read it on the internet.'

"Hey Google, describe the view."

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

Books On Paper

''Open Sesame' would make a great password, wouldn't it?'

Error: Out of memory.

"Hawaii Five-O" is back? Yeah, but they should call it "Hawaii Version Two Point-0."

Progress

"The lost password department's that way."

'A spelling test? -- Surely they have software for that sort of thing!'

Ascent of Digital Man

"Far out Nigel, I know you're a purist, but at some point, you'll need to switch to e-books like the rest of us..."

Twilight Zone Alexa

"[Treehouse conference call]"

Sell me your souls and I'll make all cell phones and computers go away."

"At least now when mom and dad fight it's quieter."

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

'I don't have my homework because my dial-up modem couldn't connect with my on-line homework helper.'

The revised 12 days of Christmas

'These blinders help block out banner ads.'

"Polishing my mouse just doesn't have the same calming effect as sharpening my pencil."

'You have to learn arithmetic in case your computer crashes.'

'Boy, they sure don't make teaching software the way they used to!'