Digital Age Survivor Gifts

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Grizzly has updated his status: 'I'm back from hibernation, who wants to meet me for a quick snack?'

"Polishing my mouse just doesn't have the same calming effect as sharpening my pencil."

"Buffering... buffering... buffering..."

"Kids, could you do Mommy a huge favor and go really far away from me? Thanks."

Phone Hypnosis

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

What're you in for? Multitasking. Got caught driving while watching tv on my phone. You need protection? Like a limited warranty? Like a gang. Who do you side with? Oh, I get you. I take it you're a Windows person. Suffer, geek.

Error: Out of memory.

"My email is down... talk to me."

"I stole a smart car- it texted the police and picked me out in an identity parade."

"What's up? Never heard of e-snail before?"

"Congratulations! You appeared in fifteen LinkedIn searches this week."

Go to meeting, Zoom, remote learning, embeddable video, skypting. . . and you still haven't mastered your VCR.

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

Statue of liberty selfie

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

'Please pay attention. Pretend I'm a movie on your phone.'

'Another big newspaper just went out of business.', 'How did you hear about that?', 'I read it on the internet.'

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Buy my data $20"

"Eeeeek!!! My okay to this one night stand must have been faked by Cambridge Analytica!!"

Books On Paper

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

His Master's Data.

"That was good, but we could have watched it on my phone."

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

"Our computers will be down for an hour, so I advise everyone to hide under their desks. The last time it was total anarchy until we were back online."

"Siri, am I ready to take a look at the dessert menu?"

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

"These EHR formats are an indecipherable headache to try and wade through. I miss the old days when the doctor's writing was all we had to figure out."

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

"It just doesn't seem right. Ever since the new system upgrade nothing is where it used to be!"