Digital Age Struggler Gifts

'Don't get smart with me!'

"I'm writing a book on everything I don't know about technology. It's a lot longer than I originally thought."

"My email is down... talk to me."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Online form - Submit.

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

Life after death

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

Evolution...the wifi rhino.

Statue of liberty selfie

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

"Can you spare a few megabytes of your precious time?"

'Please pay attention. Pretend I'm a movie on your phone.'

'Another big newspaper just went out of business.', 'How did you hear about that?', 'I read it on the internet.'

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Eeeeek!!! My okay to this one night stand must have been faked by Cambridge Analytica!!"

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

"Hey Google, describe the view."

"Buy my data $20"

Books On Paper

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

His Master's Data.

"I like it; but let's make sure we can get the domain name first."

"Siri, am I ready to take a look at the dessert menu?"

"Hawaii Five-O" is back? Yeah, but they should call it "Hawaii Version Two Point-0."

"That was good, but we could have watched it on my phone."

'Technology hates me.'

''Open Sesame' would make a great password, wouldn't it?'

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

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