Digital Vs. Analog Gifts

Etch-A-Sketch VS. IPad

"It's a book, dear. It doesn't need any batteries."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"No, kid, we don't call these 'attachment icons.' We call them paperclips."

"We do all those old tricks electronically now."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"Perhaps in my next life I'll be a jpeg."

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

'Somebody should tell our office manager that a motorized filing cabinet does not qualify as an electronic health record system.'

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

Busking during a pandemic

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'Stupido Digitale! Chucka me a sloppy brush, there's a gooda chap.'

'I've taken the liberty of simplifying the latest data.'

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

Ernie's Music. Ernie, you're opening a music store? Yep, I'm going to serve a niche market. I won't be selling CD's or any other digital music. I also won't be selling the old cassette or eight-track tapes. I'm only selling records. I'm catering to audiophiles who appreciate the unique sound quality they deliver. That's great! Are you going to adverties? Yeah, my tagline is "All sales vinyl"

"Dear diary, I'm leaving you for a Twitter account—it's not you, it's technology..."

'But Miss, I've only just got the hang of 'the little hand' and 'the big hand'...'

Man from 'Printing Industry' riding on the speeding computer

VINYL HISS

'This homework is a disgrace. I'd like a note from your computer.'

Digital Canvas

"It's like the ancient internet, printed out."

"Cool! When I'm dead I want to get uploaded to the cloud, too!"

Lost in the laptop...

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary - Digitally Mixed - Any drink stirred without the use of a spoon, swizzle stick or any other tool/utensil.

"It's called a 'bookmark.' It's like a 'save progress' option."

'Are they real or is this a screen saver?'

'You can swipe it as many times as you like, but that's not how a book works.'

CDs

Two fencers using selfie sticks as foils

Hold on – is our Zoom showdown at high noon central time? Or are you on mountain?