Digital Monarch Pillows

"Everywhere the Wi-Fi reaches is our kingdom."

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"Surprise!"

The Royal Wii

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

The Royal Wii.

"You go pillage. I can loot from here."

'It's all right, Dad -- it's a Buddhist chat room!'

"His majesty wants to binge-watch some comedy. Can you whip up 10 hours of new material?"

"Of course, I can reign from anywhere in my kingdom."

'Why don't you change it to sports or cartoons or something? -- You know CNN just depresses you.'

'I only do biometric readings now.'

Summon King Henry's bugle teacher! Bring on the Tudor Tooter Tutor!

'Please have a seat while I review your internet history.'

A Fortune-teller clicking on her mouse attached to her crystal ball.

"The queen was right. I shouldn't tweet when I'm angry."

"It's boilerplate marriage vows with a pre-nup rider. Just hit the 'agree' button."

"They don't have a dish named chicken-a-la-queen, do they?"

"Saying you're moral because you believe in God is like saying you're a soldier because you play 'Call of Duty'."

Monk on PC.

'Binary' monk demonstrates computer skills.

'Just in case I forget it, I keep my mantra on my Ipod.'

How come you never take any of my ideas seriously? I'm a marketing genius. I have a long track record of attracting business in both the residential and commercial sectors. What? When? Where? I've generated hundreds of billions of simoleans in the last 24 years. Wait ... Are you taking about Sim City"? Everything I touch turns to solid gold!

Dot Om.

'I guess business experience counts for more than we thought'

'Robespierre hacked my website again!'

King vs King- who's the clown?

'You didn't EITHER just friend the Pope!'

'Go invade Japan and bring me back a Suzuki violin instructor.'

"He overcame his vow of silence by texting on his phone."

'On the other hand, how do we know God isn't a member of our chat group?'

The Computer Psychic

'Some other king called while you were out -- he said it was important.'

'There's more to a nation's greatness than good cell phone receptions!'

"...When I was about to hit 'new order', an alert popped up telling me my city was being marched on by an enemy alliance."