Digital Lifestyle Observers Pillows

"Life’s become pretty easy lately. Perhaps it’s time we shake things up by adding a dependent."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

"My best friend is my phone."

'...Please stop the...'

Life and Death

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

"Ok, maybe this isn't happening."

"He was much more effective in the field."

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

"Photo safaris are not what they used to be: They seem more interested in taking selfies than photos of us these days..."

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

Mice 25¢

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

Maternity Hospital

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

"Your sister got another promotion."

'I need to buy some gas, but I forgot my wallet. Do you have $18,000 on you?'

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

Spring branding on the Hashtag Ranch.

I have a video phone and I'm not afraid to use it.

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"