Digital Life Observer Pillows

Weapons of Mass Comparison

"Ok, maybe this isn't happening."

Hi tech toilet

"It must be a poor reception area. . . he seems to have shut down completely."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Terry had a computer bug.

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

"You are still here."

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Life and Death

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"He was much more effective in the field."

"Go ask your search engine."

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

'Put simply, we need our website to tell consumers all about our company without really telling them anything about our company,'

Maternity Hospital

Jenkins! Why is it everything in this office is voice-activated except you?

In case of panic, push button.

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

Mice 25¢