Executive Lifestyle Observer Pillows

Former CEO will work for stock options, bonus, perks, in lieu of salary.

Three Cigars

'Now that I have your attention...'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

Terry had a computer bug.

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

St. Elmo's fired.

"Where do you expect to be ten years from now?"

'...Please stop the...'

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Thanks, I'd like to accept the job, but what is the salary? Sorry, it's against company policy to disclose that!

'Put simply, we need our website to tell consumers all about our company without really telling them anything about our company,'

"Photo safaris are not what they used to be: They seem more interested in taking selfies than photos of us these days..."

'It's lonely at the top.'

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

Jenkins! Why is it everything in this office is voice-activated except you?

In case of panic, push button.

'I need to buy some gas, but I forgot my wallet. Do you have $18,000 on you?'

'Fortunately, ideas like these don't come along everyday.'

'You cal it loyalty, we call it Stockholm Syndrome!'

"Life’s become pretty easy lately. Perhaps it’s time we shake things up by adding a dependent."

"Our generous pensions are unsustainable so I'm firing you."

"If there's no further old business, we'll move along to new business."

'The problem is, you say no problem.'