Executive Lifestyle Observer Gifts

Former CEO will work for stock options, bonus, perks, in lieu of salary.

Three Cigars

'Now that I have your attention...'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

Terry had a computer bug.

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

St. Elmo's fired.

"Where do you expect to be ten years from now?"

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'...Please stop the...'

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Thanks, I'd like to accept the job, but what is the salary? Sorry, it's against company policy to disclose that!

"Photo safaris are not what they used to be: They seem more interested in taking selfies than photos of us these days..."

'Put simply, we need our website to tell consumers all about our company without really telling them anything about our company,'

In case of panic, push button.

'It's lonely at the top.'

Jenkins! Why is it everything in this office is voice-activated except you?

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

'I need to buy some gas, but I forgot my wallet. Do you have $18,000 on you?'

'Fortunately, ideas like these don't come along everyday.'

'You cal it loyalty, we call it Stockholm Syndrome!'

"Our generous pensions are unsustainable so I'm firing you."

'The problem is, you say no problem.'

"If there's no further old business, we'll move along to new business."