Pandemic Lifestyle Observer Pillows

"Half-dressed Covid pizza special."

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"Photo safaris are not what they used to be: They seem more interested in taking selfies than photos of us these days..."

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

'I need to buy some gas, but I forgot my wallet. Do you have $18,000 on you?'

"Life’s become pretty easy lately. Perhaps it’s time we shake things up by adding a dependent."

"Johnson, I need you to stop hanging around and gossiping at the sanitizer station."

"Has your mother called yet on the international situation?"

'I'm his best friend, until his wife walks in.'

"Every time he elbow bumps me, he hits my funny bone on purpose."

S&P 500

"We've decided to express our concern for the environment by redecorating."

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

"If they don't leave soon, I'll have to keep ignoring them."

Parrot Demands

"In local news, 'Hapless Husband Trapped in Loveless Marriage.'"

"So is that enough 'putting out' for you?"

Superspreader

"Thanks again Prime Minister. I'll see you in six weeks time."

Who wouldn't keep a footman?

"Have you seen my onesie?"

God and the Devil play poker

'I eat plenty of fast food, but I just seem to be getting slower and slower!'

Corona virus Christmas tree

"Oh boy! Have you guys picked the wrong time for first contact!"

Coronavirus Shortages

"THe vice president here is now in charge of the efforts to control the coronavirus. . "

"Look, honey, they're erecting a statue of you in the park—oh, now they're taking it down."

'George, there you are!'

"Sure I'm sure; it's science. Heat and light kills covid!"