Digital Era Reflecter Gifts

"I'm impressed! Junior actually asked to use our old-fashioned dictionary!"

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Weird things I do because of the internet

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Two Generations of Readers

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

"Trust me, I'm a robot."

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"I don't know what happened, your holiness! I painted the ENTIRE CEILING!"

"The Internet ate my baby!"

"Wow, these e-readers take forever to burn..."

Modern Life Blues

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

Smith and Hobson: People replacing people with apps and robots since 2009.

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

"I hope you're not reading fake news."

'It's no use! His computer tablet has replaced his blanky!'

"These feelings of yours aren't unusual - in fact, several of them have Web sites."

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

"Go ask your search engine."

"Don't be a dummy, Justin - You gotta learn your ABC's so you can Google stuff."

After the summer holidays

"I was pretty highly respected until email came along."

"You kids are losing your ability to communicate person-to-person...so we're having a good old-fashioned family talk!"

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

'Data, data everywhere!'

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."