Digital Age Observer Gifts

It's sad when they quit Facebook

Before Facebook: Tonight I'm having pork chops

"Go ask your search engine."

'Jenkins, there's no easy way for me to say this, so I suggest you download your dismissal as a PDF file from the company website.'

"Smartphone sales" "Degradation of society"

Musk's Twitter

"I've heard they only have a six second attention span."

Gotta take you out, kid – You're getting booed off the field on my Twitter feed.

How to Leave Website Comments

"Talk about overkill. She broke up with me by text, 6 types of social media, and then through her attorney."

'It's no use! His computer tablet has replaced his blanky!'

Mobile Phone Mobile.

"Are you OK, Donna? It's been over 30 minutes since you posted a 'Fishing For Compliments' type photo on Facebook."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Would you relax? They never look up."

A secretary at a desk with a nameplate the says Dot Com.

Weird things I do because of the internet

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

Two Generations of Readers

Fear of news.

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"Trust me, I'm a robot."

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

"Wow, these e-readers take forever to burn..."

"The Internet ate my baby!"

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

Modern Life Blues

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

"It says 'Click here to enlarge.'"