Digital Doc Gifts

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

'There's nothing on.'

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

A man looking at a piece of art through a phone camera

Kevin had a computer virus.

This is Pandora, our new Content Manager.

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

Files of Doom

What passes today for 'nose in a book'.

"I can't wait to post this."

'Sure, you can communicate with him. He's also hooked up to the Internet.'

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

"I can't understand how it got lost - I haven't filed it yet"

'Take two of these and visit my website in the morning.'

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

Lawyer with two desk organizers: Letter of the Law and Spirit of the Law.

"It says to sign, and then print my name... can I use the school printer?"

Sad looking computer with plasters and a black eye

'Don't be alarmed at closing when you sign you name so many times you don't recognize your own signature.'

"Did you ever wonder who's really raising our kids?"

"Mr Yomp is in a big hurry, so give him 'speedy runaround number 39'..."