Digital Document Handler Gifts

"No, no, don't crash. . . I forgot to save my document!"

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

'I have created the first interactive pile of paperwork.'

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

Megabyte Information Processing Center.

'Your proposal sounds interesting. Can you send me a written proposal? I cannot reread a phone call.'

Top Secret/Middle Secret/Bottom Secret

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

After forty-seven years in management, it was only appropriate that he be buried in paperwork.

Records?

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

A man looking at a piece of art through a phone camera

"We need a better piling system."

This is Pandora, our new Content Manager.

Harvesting the folder crop in Manila

In and Out Trays

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

'They'll never take my word for it -- You'd better put them in writing.'

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

Man and dog playing a car simulation. The dog has a fan to simulate his head out of the window.

"And can one illuminate the manuscript?"

Files of Doom

'In, out, fiddling.'

National Archives

"Great, but where are all the books?"

Desk Organizers: 'He Said' and 'She Said'.