Digital Disconnector Gifts

"Mrs Miggins! It's been brought to my attention that you're not answering your e-mails!"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"We do all those old tricks electronically now."

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

Busking during a pandemic

"You never seem to hear a word I say to you!"

' I see Brad's playing his new video game again.'

"The pandemic has pushed us to revolutionize how we connect."

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

Has anyone ever told you you snore, Rudy? No. That's probably because you're single, you've always been single, and you'll always BE single. Not that there's anything wrong with being utterly alone. I've got 3,800 Facebook friends. Being "alone" is so 20th century.

Have your people friend my people.

"She thinks she might need glasses since she keeps losing people she tries to follow on social media."

"I'd like the view better if I hadn't forgot my bleeper"

'I'm sorry my social needs are changing & I need to upgrade.'

"Have we e-met before?"

So good to meet you, Facebook to Facebook.

Man: 'What the...?!' / 404 ERROR!

'For an interactive experience press the off button now.'

'You say you have people skills yet you have only two Facebook friends. I find that troubling.'

'Between us we've got 2000 Facebook friends, but we only know one person well enough to send us a Christmas card.'

I have 1035 Facebook friends. Do I have to send each one a holiday card?

'I'll put you on my blogroll if you put me on yours.'

'Social networking, huh? We used to call that a party line.'

"The end is near." "Ya think?"

"I don't carry business cards. Just scan my QR code and go directly to my website."

“So much for Google Maps.”

"Yes, this is technically a line. But when I said I wanted to be 'online' all day, this isn't what I meant."

Social media is where it's @.

Social Networking or Death

"Unfortunately all his friends were just on Facebook."

All my mommy's imaginary friends are on something called "Facebook."