Digital Disconnected Gifts

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

How many times do I have to tell you. . . you're broke! Broke! Broke!

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"The pandemic has pushed us to revolutionize how we connect."

"Sorry, Kevin, but having the wi-fi down for a couple of hour is not 'living off the grid'."

"OMG! I just got born!"

"I was admitted to heaven, but they didn't have WIFI."

"She thinks she might need glasses since she keeps losing people she tries to follow on social media."

"I'd like the view better if I hadn't forgot my bleeper"

'I'm sorry my social needs are changing & I need to upgrade.'

'We should be hibernating, not cybernating.'

'I made up my mind to spend less time on line, and I was doing real well 'til they brought the computer back from the shop.'

"Have we e-met before?"

So good to meet you, Facebook to Facebook.

Man: 'What the...?!' / 404 ERROR!

"Not so much fun being people-watched back, eh?"

'You say you have people skills yet you have only two Facebook friends. I find that troubling.'

Just then, Colin went off-line. . .

"The end is near." "Ya think?"

'Social networking, huh? We used to call that a party line.'

"Cool! When I'm dead I want to get uploaded to the cloud, too!"

"I don't carry business cards. Just scan my QR code and go directly to my website."

"Yes, this is technically a line. But when I said I wanted to be 'online' all day, this isn't what I meant."

“So much for Google Maps.”