Digital Disconnect Enthusiast Gifts

"I just sent you a friend request."

'Put away that damned smartphone!'

Throat messaging

"Dammit! - Can't get a signal..."

"It's like a metal detector, but it detects phones. I want your undivided attention at dinner tonight."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

The Computer Bore

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

Graduates on their phones

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

IT staffer vacation tan lines.

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"So, what do you think about the web developer course you are taking?"

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

"You never seem to hear a word I say to you!"

Newborn Uses Smartphone To Send His Dad A Text Message.

"Our problem is we upgraded everything in the new version except the hype."

How to apply for a job, then vs. now

Actually, could you just e-mail me your electronic signature? Meet the author.

Man with 'low memory' on his phone and his head

"Someone posted a picture of you working in the yard, so I knew right away it had to be a deepfake."

'I've finally achieved a paperless office.'

'And another confusing thing, they give you a ‘textbook,' but it has nothing to do with texting.'

"You said you'd be 'five minutes,’ nine months ago."

You may now update your Facebook status.

'Sorry, but this job is in a paperless office.'

'I've decided to replace all human interaction with personal electronics.'

"Sorry, I don't really believe in being social offline."

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

"Julie, are you live tweeting this!?"

"What are they saying about you on Yelp?"