Digestive System Comic Gifts

'Was that you?'

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Chef De Party.

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

"Harold, it's good you listen to your body, but must I listen to it too?"

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

Lord of the Rings: Two Towels

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

'What colour is a hiccup?'

'You'll find loaves in the pantry and fishes in the freezer.'

Golf cart in the hospital.

"Oh, how nice. You're just in time to cut the vegetables,"

'I try to get this place smelling of cat and she wants it to pong of lemon.'

"One checker, two packs of cigarettes, two screws, one teapot bird, one piece of coal, three lighters, one Christmas light, one clove of garlic, four boxes of matches, two books, three pieces of broken dish, eggshells, one saltshaker peg, one pen, one cre

"Our operators are all busy. You are second in the queue."

"You can have a local anesthetic or imported."

"I'd like to request a transfer from the children's ward."

"Who died?"

'I warned you to stop snarfing down the free samples!'

Break Bread, Not Wind.

Unfortunately what happens in the cow's digestional tract doesn't stay in the cow's digestional tract!

Historic Medical Moments: The first time a body rejected a heart before it was transplanted.

'Well, we finally figured out what the problem is...your warranty expired.'

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.

If I don't make a sound, he won't notice.

'These appetite suppressants are very effective. Unfortunately each pill is 500 calories.'

"The medicine I prescribed should kick in in 5-7 days. . . the side effects in 5-7 minutes."

"This asks if I have "excessive gas". What constitutes "excessive?"

'I'm not sure what's in that trough, but it's making my first and third stomach turn.'

'Good-bye gum, you've been a great friend these last seven years.'

Recipe: Personal Peanut Butter