Digestive System Geek Gifts

'What colour is a hiccup?'

"Tour de Frank"

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"Please don't kill me."

Curse my curiosity and four stomachs!

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

Friendly bacteria

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Harold, it's good you listen to your body, but must I listen to it too?"

Prune Eating Contest: Last Man Standing.

You might want to cut back on the probiotics.

'Chief say he eat to many beans.'

"There's 20 billion of us crammed into our capsule world, who's for burrowing south to freedom?"

'Was that you?'

'I warned you to stop snarfing down the free samples!'

"It's his body language. All I hear is snorting, burping, and ominous rumblings from his lower extremities."

Unfortunately what happens in the cow's digestional tract doesn't stay in the cow's digestional tract!

'I've got acid indigestion.'

"And I told them not to use lactose for the last supper..."

"Burp! Burp! Burp! Burp! We have four stomachs you see."

'I have a friend who says his business has never been better. . . but then, he's a gastroenterologist!'

'Your problem is keeping things down. I want you to take this one pill four times a day.'

'I've been a flatulence analyst for 15 years. . . I'll quit when it stops being fun. . .'

'If I knew what those trillions of bacteria wanted, I'd give it to them.'

"It may be just a simple tomato bisque, but just wait for the roaring and turbulent excitement in your bowels an hour from now."

'I find people take longer to digest these days.'

"Bad! He recommends both bran and prune juice!!"

'That's weird, I don't recall a gerbal the last time we were here!'

'I'm off to see the gizzard.'

"Did the Doctor give you anything for your wind?"

Antacid rain

'Oh, Ed's in a VERY contrary mood today. I'm buying probiotics, so he's over there buying antibiotics.'

Aisle 2: Stuff to help you crap.

'No buns of steel, but he does have a cast iron gut!'