Digestion Enthusiast Gifts

Antacid rain

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

Curse my curiosity and four stomachs!

"The bones were bad enough, but this is just ridiculous."

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

"This is all very romantic, but I can't see my fork."

This must be the address where Joe and Maureen are throwing the dinner party!

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

"It appears your high sodium bacon is playing havoc with your blood pressure."

'What colour is a hiccup?'

Woman meets up with guru: 'Oh, there you are, honey. Dinner's getting cold.'

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

'Hello - is that Jamie Oliver?'

'Chief say he eat to many beans.'

Food Pyramid.

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

Capturing a Cook

Napoleon Blownafart

'What! No garnish or side salad?'

"Your diet's fine, but maybe cut back on the seeds."

Now I can afford anything on the menu, I can't digest anything on the menu.

Endangered Feces: Prune Juice

We only give him smartwater.

Couple in restaurant, "Sorry it's slow, Chef's got the runs"

Obesity in America.