Digestion Enthusiast Gifts

Antacid rain

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"The bones were bad enough, but this is just ridiculous."

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

This must be the address where Joe and Maureen are throwing the dinner party!

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

"This is all very romantic, but I can't see my fork."

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

"It appears your high sodium bacon is playing havoc with your blood pressure."

'What colour is a hiccup?'

Woman meets up with guru: 'Oh, there you are, honey. Dinner's getting cold.'

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

'Hello - is that Jamie Oliver?'

Food Pyramid.

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

Napoleon Blownafart

Endangered Feces: Prune Juice

"Your diet's fine, but maybe cut back on the seeds."

Capturing a Cook

Now I can afford anything on the menu, I can't digest anything on the menu.

'What! No garnish or side salad?'

Couple in restaurant, "Sorry it's slow, Chef's got the runs"

Obesity in America.

'It's Labor Day. Mom expects you to take us out to dinner.'