Digestive System Detective Gifts

'I've been a flatulence analyst for 15 years. . . I'll quit when it stops being fun. . .'

"There's 20 billion of us crammed into our capsule world, who's for burrowing south to freedom?"

"Burp! Burp! Burp! Burp! We have four stomachs you see."

Disease Management

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"Tour de Frank"

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

Covid Music

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

Centers for Disease Control. Staff Picks. Jean. Rob. Carly. Ed. Sonia. Kim.

Lyme Disease Research Lab

AEDES: Serial Killer - Zika, Dengue, Fiebre Amarilla, Chikungunya.

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

Flu Vaccine.

R. Gillespie, M.D., specialist in whatever disease is hot at the moment.

Biomedical Conference. To incentivize advances in medical science, more cures and fewer diseases should be named after people.

Criminal Germs

"Why ‘Black Death’? Why not ‘Furry Death’?"

'The diet books really worked for me...I bought so many I couldn't afford any food.'

CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL, 'Emergency, sir! -- Hypochondria has reached epidemic proportions!'

New Ebola deaths in Sierra Leone

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'I had this two years ago.'

Illustrated Encyclopedia of Infectious Diseases