Diner Detective Gifts

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

How Bad Could It Be?

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

Original Rory's - Under New MGMT.

"We're well known for our freshly cooked food. Your order will be ready in a few minutes, Madame."

'The orange roughy looks good.'

"A clean glass will cost a little extra."

"You asked for the soup of the day, you didn't specify what day."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Try to guess the continent dining...

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

'How is the water prepared?'

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

"Don't tell him anything."

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

"Yes, a table for three: me, him and his ego."

'Mine was stone cold.'

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

Diner. We're out of link sausages. Are patties okay? Any pork in a storm!