Dinner Detectives Gifts

A man unhappy that his steak has been partially eaten by someone else

"Yes, a table for three: me, him and his ego."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Try to guess the continent dining...

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'How is the water prepared?'

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"Don't tell him anything."