Digestive System Detective Pillows

'I've been a flatulence analyst for 15 years. . . I'll quit when it stops being fun. . .'

"There's 20 billion of us crammed into our capsule world, who's for burrowing south to freedom?"

"Burp! Burp! Burp! Burp! We have four stomachs you see."

Disease Management

"Tour de Frank"

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Covid Music

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

Lyme Disease Research Lab

AEDES: Serial Killer - Zika, Dengue, Fiebre Amarilla, Chikungunya.

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

R. Gillespie, M.D., specialist in whatever disease is hot at the moment.

Flu Vaccine.

New Ebola deaths in Sierra Leone

Illustrated Encyclopedia of Infectious Diseases

'I had this two years ago.'

Criminal Germs

"Our menu never claims that our meat is barbecued. It just says that it's covered in barbecue sauce."

"Why ‘Black Death’? Why not ‘Furry Death’?"

CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL, 'Emergency, sir! -- Hypochondria has reached epidemic proportions!'

'The diet books really worked for me...I bought so many I couldn't afford any food.'

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"