Dishwater Detective Pillows

'This tastes like dishwater.'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

Evolution.

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

"How 'local' is the fish?"

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

"Don't tell him anything."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

Unsafe Drain Covers!

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

'Honey, you can't keep running to Daddy every time you find a little bug or something in your pool!'

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

Plane with banner shoots at another.

'Mine was stone cold.'

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

'The Search ended today when the authorities traced the runaway pair. . .'