Digestive Humorists Gifts

'I warned you to stop snarfing down the free samples!'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

Tooth fairy

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'The customer is always right...'

'Tony can't come out to play now, he's on his orthodontopole!'

"Aperitif?"

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

The songwriter who wrote a bridge about his bridge.

The New Age Dentist.

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

"Have you ever considered getting braces?"

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

'I just come here for the ambiance. The food's lousy, so ordered a pizza be delivered.'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

'It's a simple matter of checks and balances: your waistline has spread and your brain has shrunk.'

'Do you offer transcend dental medication?'

'No, I don't have a favorite. Dung is dung.'

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

"I feel like I can't trust myself around food."

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

'At least you're not going to have to worry about your denture adhesive anymore.'