Dieting Dilemma Fan Gifts

"By 'take more exercise' I didn't mean 'walking to the takeaway'!"

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

'Excellent napkin.'

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

"Why don't we skip the falafel bar, Sinbad."

'Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered strawberries...is not what I mean when I said that fruit is healthy for you.'

'You were right, doc. Blood is thicker than water.'

Edith told Hank that if he gained any more weight, she's leave him. Hank just wanted the cake and Edith too.

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

Need to block those Cookies Santa!

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

'I'm really not eating a balanced diet. I'm always replacing meals with snacks. Maybe I should be taking a multivitamin before I eat a donut.'

Advent fridge

"If you don't plan on snacking at night, then why did you move the refrigerator in here?"

'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'

Skinny Santa Claus munches on carrot, as obese Rudolph eats mince pie.

Me On A Diet: "I should not be eating this!"

"It's not that you've chosen the wrong diet, it's just that you're not meant to eat them all at once!"

"Our menu is divided into three sections... low carb, low sodium and WTF!"

"Do you have such a thing as low calorie caramel coffee creams?"

"It's OK, I'm on a meat day."

'Gorgeous or gorging, why do I always have to choose?'

"Time for a diet or a double-wide."

"A pint of chocolate ice cream is a reasonable equivalent for a half cup of non-fat yoghurt, right?"

"I shouldn't, but I'm going to have the garbage."