Dieting Dilemma Enthusiast Gifts

"It's OK, I'm on a meat day."

"Evolution helped us to store body fat so that we wouldn't starve before the pizza was ready."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Fat man on scales.

'I can't see my nuts anymore.'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

"I would kill for your metabolism."

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

'Excellent napkin.'

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

'Don't worry. His diet's only last a day or two.'

"Why don't we skip the falafel bar, Sinbad."

'Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered strawberries...is not what I mean when I said that fruit is healthy for you.'

Before and After diet photos.

'In a word, you have too much consumer confidence.'

"This IS our diet pizza. As I told you, it's a hole pie."

It was time to start the lockdown diet.

'I always watch what I eat - right up until it disappears into my mouth.'