Dieting Dilemmas Gifts

'I'm really not eating a balanced diet. I'm always replacing meals with snacks. Maybe I should be taking a multivitamin before I eat a donut.'

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

'I envy your metabolism.'

"I'm on a diet. Do you have any low cal greed?"

'I went off my diet... it was a piece of cake.'

Edith told Hank that if he gained any more weight, she's leave him. Hank just wanted the cake and Edith too.

'You've been eating your fruit in pie form, haven't you, Mrs. Sylvan?'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

Skinny Santa Claus munches on carrot, as obese Rudolph eats mince pie.

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

'Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered strawberries...is not what I mean when I said that fruit is healthy for you.'

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

Need to block those Cookies Santa!

"No thanks, mom. I'm on a vegetable free diet."

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

'She has been suicidal all day doctor since she read about the fatal effect of too much sugar.'

"If you don't plan on snacking at night, then why did you move the refrigerator in here?"

"Dieting galls my bladder!"

Advent fridge

Scale SOS!

'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'

"It's not that you've chosen the wrong diet, it's just that you're not meant to eat them all at once!"

"Do you have such a thing as low calorie caramel coffee creams?"

"It's OK, I'm on a meat day."

'Gorgeous or gorging, why do I always have to choose?'

Things you'll never hear me say.

"A pint of chocolate ice cream is a reasonable equivalent for a half cup of non-fat yoghurt, right?"

'Good news, my B.M.I. is looking great! No, not my Body Mass Index. My Blueberry Muffin Icecream.'

"Could I have the diet special...but made out of chocolate."