Dieting Dilemmas Decider Gifts

"I shouldn't, but I'm going to have the garbage."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

"Why don't we skip the falafel bar, Sinbad."

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

'Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered strawberries...is not what I mean when I said that fruit is healthy for you.'

"If this food is healthy, then what about the rest of the store?"

"Look! Now they offer healthy choices we can glance at before ordering our usual junk."

"No thanks, mom. I'm on a vegetable free diet."

Need to block those Cookies Santa!

Edith told Hank that if he gained any more weight, she's leave him. Hank just wanted the cake and Edith too.

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

'You were right, doc. Blood is thicker than water.'

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

'I'm really not eating a balanced diet. I'm always replacing meals with snacks. Maybe I should be taking a multivitamin before I eat a donut.'

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

'I'm concerned about your cholesterol level.'

"If you don't plan on snacking at night, then why did you move the refrigerator in here?"

Innovate - man boobs and gut bra.

"Dieting galls my bladder!"

Skinny Santa Claus munches on carrot, as obese Rudolph eats mince pie.

'She has been suicidal all day doctor since she read about the fatal effect of too much sugar.'

"It's not that you've chosen the wrong diet, it's just that you're not meant to eat them all at once!"

"Do you have such a thing as low calorie caramel coffee creams?"

"It's OK, I'm on a meat day."