Dietary Preferences Aficionado T-Shirts

"The feeding of the fad thousand"

All Natural Nothing

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

"I programmed the refrigerator to hide from you in between meals."

sports bar buffet : Hotdogs/pizza/Corn-on-the-Ty Cobb

Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

"In the morning I eat nothing then I wait 4 hours and eat nothing again."

Diet Cud

'I had the same thing for lunch.'

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

Mr. Guppy's entertainment

"You're really serious about that diet!"

"Hey, honey. Are we ona diet again?"

"No wonder he's so skinny - he eats like a bird."

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

Non-Jewish Events and Jewish Events

'Stay tuned for a surprising new health study regarding...'