Dietary Law Enthusiast Gifts

"And here's a list of food you can't eat."

'What'll it be?'

"First, do no ham."

"And should you retain us, Mr. Hodal, you'll find that we're more than just a law firm."

"Your dish will be out just as soon as it clears legal."

"That law against keeping chickens inside the city limits is so crazy."

"I'd invite you back to the house for a glass of iced tea, but I'm afraid our kitchen isn't kosher."

"I'm not quite ready to order. My lawyers are still studying the menu."

"The Attorney's Lunch—may I hear the warranty again?"

'I'm very active. I'm always jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth, skipping lunch, and jogging my memory. With all that jumping, stretching, skipping and jogging, I still can't lose weight.'

"With religion and politics off the table, the only thing left to argue about is gluten."

"Good evening, my name is Hank. I'm your waiter tonight. This is Eddy, he is our cooks' lawyer."

"No thanks, mom. I'm on a vegetable free diet."

So su me.

"I'm eating for two-for me and the me who is on a diet."

'Have you tried the meatballs yet?'

'Alliance Against Red Meat'

"It's always the same at this time of year..."

"Meat is murder!"

"Please sir, is this gruel Fairtrade?"

The attorney's Blue-Plate special: Red Snapper, embroiled in a hot legal dispute.

A book store has a deal offering diet books for 69c per pound

'I was retaining water, so I cut out the salt. Now I retain gas.'

"Judge Edelman is taking the chicken livers under advisement, Gertrude; I've decided in favor of the veal; and Judge Hefferman seems to be recusing himself."

All natural, no fat, cholesterol, carb, sodium, fiber, chemical additives, and we spiced it up so you'd never know it was sawdust.

Moral outrage of the British public

'I haven't eaten kosher in ages.'

'Then you admit you went into the Mexican Restaurant and said to the waitress, 'Baby, I'd like to nibble on your tacos'.'

"Faced with the dilemma of a plant-based diet or imminent death, you choose death?"

"My diet must be working. My eggs have gone from Large to Medium."

'Religious scruples prevent me from eating pork.'