Diet Daredevil Pillows

Heartache in the refridgerator.

'You sure it didn't go around twice?'

'I'm on a diet at the moment.' - 'No sugar, no alcohol, no meat, no dairy, no wheat, no yeast.' - 'Basically, dinner times now consist of me quietly weeping into a bowl of overpriced weeds.'

"How's the diet going?"

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

'It's my favorite.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

'Brie okay?.' 'Very runny.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Chocs away.

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

"Gigot de sept heures."

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

'I told you not to order the chocolate cream surprise.'

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

"I told you to order the mild salsa!"

"You've got to eat less, exercise more and try to stay out of trouble. You're not fit to stand trial."

Funky Chef 2

'He's on a high carbohydrate diet,'

"Don't tell anyone, but I'll have the devil's food cake."

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

Roadkill Restaurant

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'