Diet Daredevil Pillows

Over Eater's Anonymous.

Heartache in the refridgerator.

'You sure it didn't go around twice?'

'I'm on a diet at the moment.' - 'No sugar, no alcohol, no meat, no dairy, no wheat, no yeast.' - 'Basically, dinner times now consist of me quietly weeping into a bowl of overpriced weeds.'

"How's the diet going?"

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

'It's my favorite.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'Brie okay?.' 'Very runny.'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Chocs away.

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

"I'm unable to process this image."

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

"Gigot de sept heures."

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

'I told you not to order the chocolate cream surprise.'

Funky Chef 2

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

"More?"

The mission: Impossible burger.

"I told you to order the mild salsa!"

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"You've got to eat less, exercise more and try to stay out of trouble. You're not fit to stand trial."

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

"Don't tell anyone, but I'll have the devil's food cake."